A community member shares with us how they talk about consent with their partner:

I wanted to share a story of honest and open communication between me and my partner. We are both closer to 40, than 30. Therefore, have had time to exercise our respective appetites. A few months ago, I asked if they were satisfied with our sex life. I thought this is an opportunity to have an open, honest discussion about pleasure and intimacy deepening our sexual bond. However, my partner took offense at the question and began telling me that we did not need to talk about it because if they did not express anything being wrong then, I was to assume everything was good. This did not compute for me. I expressed, that that logic does not make sense to me and I would like to have a conversation, not based on assumption, but a verbal exchange. They agreed to have the conversation and what we found was that while mutual satisfaction was part of the conversation, there was some insecurity on my part which also bubbled to the surface. Finally, the discussion turned to comfort and assumption. I let my partner know that I never want to make them uncomfortable or obligated, therefore, I will never assume and always ask. They said that was not necessary and I said for me, it is very necessary. The ability to say yes or no at any time, with no hurt feelings, regret or shame is very important. I used several of the questions from the Sex Turned Up conversation guide to navigate through the conversation. Although, it was difficult to begin the conversation, having it was eye opening for both of us and the outcome of the conversation, has been extremely positive! Thank you for letting me share my story of health sex and sexuality.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Juana Galeno
602-279-2900
juana@acesdv.org

SEXUAL AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVORS, ADVOCATES AND ALLIES TO BE HONORED

9^th Annual Thrive Gala and Awards Dinner to Celebrate Their Work

(April 22, 2019 – Phoenix, AZ) The Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence will honor sexual and domestic violence survivors, advocates and allies with awards in six categories at the Thrive Gala and Awards Dinner presented by PetSmart Charities on Saturday, May 11, 2019 at the Scottsdale Resort at McCormick Ranch in Scottsdale. The evening begins with an hors d’œuvres reception, unique raffle, and silent auction experience with live entertainment and dancing.

The following individuals were nominated by the community at large and will receive awards named after plants native to the Sonoran Desert that have adapted and thrive despite the harsh climate.

Allie Bones, Office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, will receive the Saguaro Award in honor of a lifetime dedicated to ending sexual and domestic violence.

BilliJoy Carson, Kick at Darkness, has been selected as the Three Heart Award recipient, which honors a sexual and/or domestic violence survivor who has turned adversity into triumph by creating positive change in the community.

Sarah Kent, one-n-ten, will receive the Cliff Rose Award, which honors a person for their efforts in sexual and/or domestic violence education, prevention and outreach to culturally specific and/or marginalized communities in Arizona

Patricia Madsen, Community Legal Services, will be the recipient of the Desert Sunflower Award, which honors a person’s non-traditional involvement in the movement to end sexual and/or domestic violence.

Sheronda Jordan, Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse, was selected for the Guara Award to honor an advocate’s outstanding efforts in providing direct services to victims of sexual and/or domestic violence in Arizona.

Representative Jennifer Longdon, Arizona Legislative District 24, will be given the Ocotillo Award, which celebrates a person who has identified an issue facing sexual and domestic violence survivors and has championed change to benefit victims.

The Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) works to dismantle oppression and promote equity among all people, focusing on increasing public awareness about sexual and domestic violence and enhancing safety and services for survivors. ACESDV was originally founded as the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence in 1980, so that concerned citizens and professionals could unite in a statewide organization to end domestic violence. In 2013, the Coalition became the designated dual coalition to address both sexual and domestic violence in Arizona, thus becoming the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence. ACESDV provides training and technical assistance to responders, service providers, and community members, engages in public policy advocacy and public awareness initiatives, and provides direct services through their Sexual and Domestic Violence Services Helpline and online chat.

Funds raised from Thrive will support ACESDV’s mission which is to end sexual and domestic violence in Arizona by dismantling oppression and promoting equity among all people. More information can be found on our website: www.acesdv.org/thrivegala.  Sponsorships and tables are available for the 9^th Annual Thrive Awards and Dinner by calling 602-279-2900 or by emailing info@acesdv.org.  Tickets for the Thrive Gala are currently available https://www.acesdv.org/get-tickets/.

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 NEWS RELEASE
For Immediate Release

WITH A NEW $45,000 GRANT FROM PETSMART CHARITIES®, THE AZ COALITION TO END SEXUAL AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE’s BaRC PROJECT IS HELPING TO KEEP SURVIVORS AND PETS TOGETHER

April 5, 2019— Phoenix, AZ – The Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) recently received a $45,000 grant from PetSmart Charities, the leading funder of animal welfare in North America, designed to help keep more survivors and pets together throughout Arizona.

When people are experiencing life changes and challenges such as seeking shelter or services because of sexual or domestic violence, a pet can add an extra layer of both support and healing in addition to complexity and concern.  Pet parents in these situations often feel they have no other option but to surrender their beloved pets to local animal welfare organizations when seeking victim services.   

With the help of this new grant, the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence is committed to offering solutions that will help pets stay within their loving homes and families.  Unfortunately, up to 40% of sexual and domestic violence survivors report they delayed their decision to seek safety and services out of fear for their animals’ safety. ACESDV’s Barrier Reduction Collaborative (BaRC) project offers solutions and support for survivors with pets. The BaRC project helps remove barriers to safety for survivors through funding for pet-related expenses, such as pet rental deposits, transportation of pets, veterinary fees, and pet boarding fees. The BaRC project also provides education and support to sexual and domestic violence programs to better assist survivors with pets.

“We’re thrilled to partner with PetSmart Charities and offer the BaRC project to sexual and domestic violence survivors and the Arizona community as a whole,” said Tasha Menaker, Co-CEO of Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence. “Pets provide an incredible source of healing and support for survivors and people who have experienced trauma. This project is removing barriers many survivors face when seeking safety for themselves and their pets.”

“Pets are often a source of strength and comfort, and in many instances can be a deciding factor to seek shelter from an unsafe situation,” said Jenny Aho, regional relationship manager at PetSmart Charities. “As an Arizona-based organization, we are proud to support the work of the ACESDV’s BaRC project, that provides resources to our community which helps bridge the gap to a safer environment for both people and pets.” Funding from PetSmart Charities supports animal welfare organizations and non-profits committed to reducing pet homelessness and enhancing the human-animal bond. For more information, visit www.PetSmartCharities.org.

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About the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence
The Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) works to dismantle oppression and promote equity among all people, focusing on increasing public awareness about sexual and domestic violence and enhancing safety and services for survivors. ACESDV was originally founded as the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence in 1980, so that concerned citizens and professionals could unite in a statewide organization to end domestic violence. In 2013, the coalition became the designated dual coalition to address both sexual and domestic violence in Arizona, thus becoming the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence. ACESDV provides training and technical assistance to responders, service providers, and community members, engages in public policy advocacy and public awareness initiatives, and provides direct services through their Sexual and Domestic Violence Services Helpline and online chat.

Follow ACESDV on Twitter: twitter.com/acesdv
Find ACESDV on Facebook: facebook.com/ACESDV
See ACESDV on Instagram: instagram.com/AZCESDV

About PetSmart Charities®
PetSmart Charities, Inc. is committed to finding lifelong, loving homes for all pets by supporting programs and thought leadership that bring people and pets together. Through its in-store adoption program in all PetSmart® stores across the U.S. and Puerto Rico, PetSmart Charities helps to find forever homes and families for more than 500,000 shelter pets each year.  PetSmart Charities also provides grant funding to nonprofits aligned with its mission. Each year, millions of generous PetSmart shoppers help pets in need by donating to PetSmart Charities using the PIN pads at checkout registers inside PetSmart stores.  In turn, PetSmart Charities efficiently uses more than 90 cents of every dollar donated to fulfill its role as the leading funder of animal welfare in North America, granting  more than $390 million since its inception in 1994. Independent from PetSmart Inc., PetSmart Charities is a 501(c)(3) organization that has received the Four-Star Rating from Charity Navigator, a third-party organization that reports on the effectiveness, accountability and transparency of nonprofits, for the past 16 years in a row – placing it among the top one percent of charities rated by this organization. To learn more visit www.petsmartcharities.org.

Follow PetSmart Charities on Twitter: @PetSmartChariTs
Find PetSmart Charities on Facebook: Facebook.com/PetSmartCharities
See PetSmart Charities on YouTube: YouTube.com/PetSmartCharitiesInc

Media Contact:
Tasha Menaker, Co-CEO of ACESDV                                                       24-Hour PetSmart Charities              
602-279-2900 ext. 426                                                                               Media Line:  623-587-2177
tasha@acesdv.org

Do you value your relationships with your friends, family, coworkers, or intimate partners? Do you have honest and open conversations with them about sexuality, affection and boundaries? Whether you’ve been working on setting healthy boundaries, or you are a survivor reclaiming your sexuality, we want to hear from you. Submit your story by April 23rd and send to info@acesdv.org with the subject line: SAAM

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month – see our 30 facts for 30 days of SAAM which highlights a statistic, fact, or helpful piece of information about sexual violence for each day of April. We invite you to follow along on our social media platforms as we raise awareness throughout the month or use these facts to post on your own social media pages. 

Click here for the 30 Facts for 30 Days of SAAM during April 2019.

The Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence strongly urges the House Ethics Committee to recommend the expulsion of Representative David Stringer. This is based on Representative Stringer’s racist comments and lack of transparency around previous sex offense indictments. The people of Arizona deserve leadership that instills faith and integrity in the state legislature. This requires high ethical standards and a commitment to represent all constituents. If citizens and survivors cannot trust that sexual and domestic violence related issues will be met without bias or dishonesty, it lessens their confidence in the ability of the State to appropriately respond to community needs in situations of violence. This is especially true for survivors of color, who face significant barriers reporting sexual and domestic violence victimization and accessing appropriate services due to systemic racism and prejudice. It is our hope the House Ethics Committee works swiftly and decisively to restore faith in the integrity of the House of Representatives.

The deadline to submit comments on the proposed Title IX changes has been pushed back to January 30, 2019. In order to do a last push for public comments on this important issue, please review the information below on the proposed changes to Title IX and use the sample tweets to get others to submit comments during our ACESDV Tweetstorm January 28 at noon!

These proposed Title IX changes hurt survivors:

• By limiting the definition of sexual harassment to the point where survivors experiences will be discounted unless they experience endure severe, repeated, or escalating harassment which denies students their schooling and impacts their futures. This means that, under the proposed new definition, schools will be held to a lesser standard in addressing the harassment of students-including minors-under its care than addressing harassment of adult employees. 
• Sexual harassment and assault is already widely under-reported. By limiting who can receive a report, students are forced to seek out an authority figure they may never have met and may not be easily accessible. This forces the survivor to discuss the worst experience of their lives to a stranger instead of a school employee with which there may be previous rapport. This is likely to further decrease the amount of reports creating an unsafe overall environment.
• By increasing the burden of proof through setting a higher standard than preponderance of the evidence, the proposed changes tilts proceedings to unfairly benefit respondents, making it even more difficult for those reporting abuse to attain safety.  
• By allowing third party cross examinations that creates gross inequities if one party can afford a lawyer and the other cannot.
• By ignoring assault and harassment that happens off campus by students, survivors will have less options and support to deal with the experience caused by a fellow student. This is especially true since 87% of students live off campus. 41% of college sexual assaults involve off-campus parties. Only 8% of rapes occur on school property (NWLC, 2018)

You can leave your comment at www.handsoffix.org. or here. Please make sure it is personalized. Need additional information? Visit www.handsoffix.org!

Please join us for our tweetstorm to encourage others to comment on these proposed changes. You can use these sample tweets as a guide:

The administration wants to limit reporting. Tell them no! Survivor’s voices need to be heard #handsoffix #ProtectTitleIX

The proposed TitleIX changes will make schools less responsive to sexual harassment of students then their employees. Stop these changes. #ProtectTitleIX acesdv.org.

Send a message to the administration that the proposed changes to TitleIX make things worse not better for those experiencing campus sexual assault #ProtectTitleIX #HandsoffIX

Campus sexual assault survivors already do not feel safe reporting. The administration wants to make that worse. Stop them #ProtectTitleIX Learn how:  HandsOffIX.org

Tell this administration that you #BelieveSurvivors. Submit a comment on the proposed changed to #ProtectTitleIX. Learn more at HandsOffIX.org

Tell the administration it’s time to stop investing on backwards false solutions like their proposed changes to TitleIX. #ProtectTitleIX. Learn more acesdv.org/civicengagenment.

The administration wants to bring the bad days of “boys will be boys” back to campuses with proposed rules changes on Title IX. #ProtectTitleIX by telling them no Learn more acesdv.org/civicengagenment.

With only a couple of days left it is important to make your voice heard by submitting a comment on her proposed Title IX rule. #ProtectTitleIX Learn how:  HandsOffIX.org

Our partners at the National Alliance to End Sexual Violence shared this helpful FAQ on Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) and the Shutdown:

With VAWA technically expiring at the same time as the government shutdown, we have noticed that there is some confusion and misinformation about the impact of these two events. Please see below for clarification. 

Does VAWA funding run out in a shutdown?

Technically no, but problems may arise with accessing funds if the shutdown lasts. The Administration is on a reduced staff during a shutdown. The Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) will stay open until further notice. If the shutdown extends beyond that time, it will be challenging for organizations dependent on VAWA funds to access those funds. This could mean that victims cannot access lifesaving services if the shutdown continues for any length of time. 

VAWA expired when the Continuing Resolution expired. What does that mean for the protections and programs in the law?

We have worked for two years with Congress to urge passage of a Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act that would provide critical enhancements and improvements to the law.  The law technically expired on December 21^st.  The protections enshrined in VAWA, however, continue to exist despite its expiration.

The funding will very likely continue, once an FY 2019 funding bill is complete. VAWA funds would have been safe in a continuing resolution like the Senate passed.

The government shutdown, not the lapse in authorization, is the most significant threat to continued VAWA funds. 

What should Congress do?

The most urgent issue for victim service providers and the survivors they serve is access to continued grant funds. Congress must pass a funding bill (like the Senate passed on December 20th) that extends government funding until February 8, 2019. The President and Congress must end the shutdown to ensure continued access to lifesaving services.

When they return for the 116^th Congress, Members of Congress should begin work on a bipartisan Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) to build on current protections and increase access to justice and safety for all survivors.

Can I do anything?

Feel free to weigh in on the shutdown with your Members of Congress and reassure survivors that they will have access to services for now. Contact NAESV  if you have any questions. 

At a survivor speakout we hosted this year, a survivor of sexual violence said these powerful words about sexual and domestic violence survivors: “We are told we should be silent when it’s inconvenient for those in power.” It’s true there is a long legacy in the United States of silencing, shaming, and ignoring the voices of domestic and sexual violence survivors. Yet, in 2018, the world watched as survivors refused to be silenced at an unprecedented scale, and the sexual and domestic violence community both in Arizona and nationwide stood with survivors and elevated their voices.

The momentum of the #MeToo Movement continued into 2018, where we witnessed the issue of sexual violence get both local and national attention, beginning with numerous Arizona women coming forward publicly with sexual harassment claims against former Representative Don Shooter, and ending with the dramatic Senate Judiciary Hearing with Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Justice Brett Kavanaugh. In both instances, we were inspired by the courage, resiliency, and tenacity of survivors who refused to be silenced, who advocated for change, and who came together to support each other with love and compassion.

In response to these situations, ACESDV stood with survivors fighting to keep perpetrators out of positions of political power. We held survivor speakouts and solidarity circles, provided advocacy and referrals to survivors through our Sexual and Domestic Violence Services Helpline, and engaged in community actions and media interviews demanding accountability for perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence. We watched as the experiences of survivors were dismissed and disbelieved, reinforcing the continued need for advocacy and education. We are guided by the wise words of a survivor speaking in a solidarity circle during the hearing of Judge Kavanaugh: “Feel your anger and your sadness, in that – is your power.”

In 2018, we were dedicated to using our power to address the roots of violence and transform our society into one centered around equity, diversity, interconnectedness, and fierce love. We know if we want to end sexual and domestic violence, we must engage men, stand with survivors of color, and empower youth. Accordingly, 2018 was the founding year of our Men Against Patriarchy and Oppression (MAPO) Committee, a male-led workgroup focused on ending toxic masculinity, changing harmful gender norms, and providing new avenues for men to get involved in the movement to end gendered violence. It was also the first year of our Youth Advocates Institute, a youth-led initiative building youths’ leadership and advocacy skills in order to promote culture change and healthy relationships among their peers. In addition, ACESDV worked with grassroots partners to build community capacity to connect LGBTQ migrant survivors and immigrant survivors with services, and educate community members about consent, bystander intervention, and healthy sexuality.

Over the past year, we were reminded more than ever how important it is to stand with survivors and continue the fight to end sexual and domestic violence. We are incredibly grateful to do this work. While our efforts can sometimes seem daunting, ACESDV is dedicated to supporting survivors and centering their experiences to create meaningful social change. We need your help to do so. In the powerful words of one sexual assault survivor: “We have to fight for compassion, love, and support in a world where it’s dying.”

With your gift, you are sending a message that you too #BelieveSurvivors and will continue to be in solidarity with the 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men who have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime, and the 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men who have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime.

Other ways your gift can help:

$35 enables one Victim Services Specialist to spend one hour on the phone with a survivor of sexual or domestic violence.

$50 supports one hour of public policy advocacy at the Arizona State Capitol.

$100 sends one domestic violence advocate to the 40-Hour Sharing Experience domestic violence training.

$250 sponsors materials for the Young Advocates Institute Southwest youth-led social justice camp.

$500 supports travel assistance for one rural ACESDV member program to attend a training.

$1000 sponsors an entire 5-day Sexual Violence Core Advocacy Training.

Consider purchasing a paper peace dove through the Gift of Peace Campaign at Jacksons Car Wash and Food Stores throughout the Metro Phoenix area through December 25th. Purchases using your Fry’s Reward Card are also great, as is shopping through AmazonSmile. Every little bit will support us as we head into 2019.

Thank you for your continued support of our mission to end sexual and domestic violence in Arizona by dismantling oppression and promoting equity among all people!

 

Allie Bones, MSW
Chief Executive Officer