Is Someone You Know Being Abused or is Someone You Love Hurting You? If you are experiencing domestic violence it can be very hard to know what to do, where to go, who to turn to. We understand and want you to know that we value you as a person, and want to help you and your children to be able to live in safety, without fear. We also know that it is difficult to decide when to do something about your situation. Only you know when the time is right. We are here to help you by providing information and contacts to people and agencies that can help when you decide to take action.
Here are a few ways you can help a friend that is being abused:
- Listen to their story and believe them.
- Hold what you are told in confidence.
- Encourage your friend to think about safety. Help your friend make concrete plans that deal with the most likely “what ifs.”
- Reach out to a domestic violence program.
The following sections of our site contain information you might find helpful. If you can do so safely, we encourage you to browse this information. If you are in danger, we urge you to instead contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline
at: 1-800-799-7233, or contact us locally at: 1-800-782-6400. We can help!
Verbal Abuse: Coercion, Threats and Blaming: threatening to hurt or kill you, your children or pets, name calling, yelling or telling you you are unattractive or undesirable.
Intimidation: making you afraid by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying property, abusing pets or displaying weapons.
Emotional Abuse: putting you down, making you feel bad about yourself, calling you names, making you think you’re crazy, playing mind games, humiliating you or making you feel guilty.
Economic Abuse: preventing you from getting or keeping a job, making you ask for money, giving you an allowance, taking your money or letting you know about or have access to family income.
Isolation: controlling what you do, who you see or talk to, what you read, where you go, limiting your outside involvement or using jealousy to justify actions.
Using Male Privilege: treating you like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like ‘master of the castle’, being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.
Using Children: making you feel guilty about the children, using children to relay messages, using visitation to harass you, threatening to take the children away.
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming: making light of abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously, saying abuse didn’t happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behavior or saying you caused it.
If you you answered yes to even one of the above questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.
Does your partner…
If you need to talk, call us: (602) 279-2900 or (800) 782-6400
For Info on Teen Dating Violence Call the Teen Line at (602) 248-8336 • 1 in 5 teens will be in an abusive relationship. Learn the warning signs and what to do. The seeitandstopit.org website is a great place to start. We’ve also collected info on Teen Dating Violence which you may find helpful. The Facts: View the ACESDV Teen Dating Violence Special Report Warning Signs
I Have the Responsibility:
I Have the Right:
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you could be in an abusive relationship. You may want to learn more about teen dating violence and safety planning. If you need to talk, call the Teen Lifeline at
Answer these ten questions in order to determine if your
relationship is abusive.
1. Are you afraid of the person you’re going out with?
2. Are they jealous, possessive, constantly checking up on you?
3. Do they call you names, embarrass you in front of your friends?
4. Do they say that you are nothing without them?
5. Do they scare you, threaten you?
6. Do you feel forced into sexual activity?
7. Does the person you’re going out with abuse alcohol or other drugs and pressure you to use?
8. Is the person you’re dating nice and sweet some times and really mean at other times?
9. Do they make promises to change abusive behavior? Do they minimize the harm they do to you? Do they blame you?
10. Does the person you’re dating make your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
(602) 248-8336 or (800) 782-6400